


Beyond Day-to-Day

by Marzarelo



Series: Surviving in the Zombie Apocalypse [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Holidays, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-21 23:15:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13154073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marzarelo/pseuds/Marzarelo
Summary: A short holiday interlude set between chapters 7 and 8 of Odds of Survival.  (Probably won't make a lot of sense read independently.)





	Beyond Day-to-Day

**Author's Note:**

> This nonsense is dedicated to the Kylux twitter gang. You all know who you are.

The Weather was turning cold, especially at night. Though it rarely got cold enough to snow, or even frost, this far south in the United States. Still, it was plenty cold enough to be unpleasant without a coat, and at night Hux was sure he would have trouble keeping warm enough to sleep comfortably if he hadn't started sharing a bed with Ren. He was still a little bewildered over that sudden development between them, but he certainly wasn't going to complain about it. With the growing chill, the timing of it couldn't have been better.

Ren still woke earlier than he did most mornings, but now that they slept so close together Ren couldn't really get up without waking him. Apparently Ren had somehow managed to do it _this_ morning, though, because Hux woke cold and alone. He huddled under the blanket, trying to regain some warmth while he battled down the edge of worry that crept up the back of his neck until he heard shuffling and movement below the loft. _Ren hadn't left._ He shook his head to dispel the numbing sensation of relief, then got up and dressed quickly before the chill could sink into his bones.

When he looked out over the edge of the loft he was met with something completely unexpected, and he struggled for a moment to make sense of it. Even in the height of the day the light filtering in through the plastic windows of the shed was still fairly dim, but it was more than enough to make out Ren's shape bustling around on the ground below, and a web of cords strung from the rafters to the railing of the loft, and down to the shelves along the walls. Whatever the hell Ren was up to, this must have taken hours. How long had Ren been awake? And how had he managed to sleep through whatever Ren had done to get the cords threaded through all the high rafters? "What the hell is all this?"

Ren glanced up at him but then quickly dropped his gaze again, like he didn't want to meet Hux's eyes. "I'm almost done. If you'll just hang on for a minute, you'll see."

Hux could feel his nose wrinkling in distaste at Ren's vague non-answer. He climbed down the ladder and stood looking up at the criss-crossing cords when Ren connected the final cord in his hand to a car battery, bringing little lights flickering to life along every cord, all white except for two stray strands with mis-matched multi-colored bulbs. It certainly brought a lot more light into the shed, but it seemed inefficient. Surely they could have found something with brighter single bulbs that wouldn't require as much electricity? "I appreciate the light, but couldn't you find something with high efficiency bulbs?"

Ren let out a snort of disgust. "Yeah, I knew you wouldn't get it. Do you even know what day it is?"

Other than guessing that it was some time in December Hux honestly wasn't sure, but he could guess what day it was. Or rather what day Ren _thought_ it was, as he doubted that Ren had kept any better track of the date than he had. Regardless, he shook his head. "I've lost track, but I'd guess it's December."

"It's Christmas."

Ren stared at him expectantly, though Hux couldn't guess what reaction he was expecting. He stared straight back at Ren like a challenge, expression betraying nothing other than annoyance over Ren's fanciful nonsense. The date didn't matter anymore. It had hardly mattered before. One day was just the same as any other. He remembered overhearing customers chatting about an approaching Friday the 13th and the things they planned to do to prepare for the bad luck, but the world hadn't waited until an unfavorable date to go spiraling down the toilet. It had gone to shit on a hapless Tuesday, in the lull just before lunch rush. Likewise, Hux didn't expect the universe to throw anything positive their way now just because of the date. "Is that supposed to mean something?"

"It doesn't have to _mean_ anything. Fuck! Is there ever a 5-minute span in your life when you're not an asshole?" Ren turned away, his fist clenched around a tool in his hand and for a moment Hux worried he might throw it. Instead he slapped it down on the table and leaned against it, his back to Hux. "Everything is shit, I just thought-.... I thought we could take a break. We've been working so hard, scavenging, digging holes, struggling to keep ourselves alive, I thought we could take just _one day_ to enjoy the fact that we're still alive? To try to find a _reason_ to be happy about it? The date is just an excuse."

Hux stared at Ren's back as a nagging sense of guilt began to nibble at the edges of his thoughts. He hated it. He hated that he cared how Ren felt, and that he no longer found enjoyment in picking at Ren's weaknesses until it hurt.

 _...You know why our lives still_ suck _and you wonder every morning why you even bother to get out of bed and keep going?_

Ren's recent words came back to him and he sighed. Ren was trying to give their lives some sort of meaning beyond suffering. Beyond surviving from day-to-day. Some reason to remind themselves why continuing to stay alive was preferable to the alternative. Hux crossed his arms, fighting to hold in a shiver, and begrudgingly relented. "Fine. What do you propose we do on Christmas, then?"  
*

*  
Fire was a brilliant idea. The _most_ brilliant idea. There were two or three zombies outside the perimeter of the fence, occasionally rattling the chain-link, but that threat felt distant enough to ignore. The open door of the shed behind them let the glow from the string-lights spill out onto the ground around them and with the heat of the fire in front of him, his stomach full of his first hot meal in months, and Ren solid and warm at his side, Hux couldn't remember the last time he felt so comfortable. He might even go so far as to say he felt content if it were at all possible to feel properly content in this life of scraps and intermittent terror they were living. Any nice thing was fleeting, so Hux clung to this as hard he could, as hard as anyone could cling to something as immaterial as a feeling. Beside him, Ren stared pensively into the fire.

"My mother was Jewish," Ren said suddenly, "But we always celebrated Christmas. My father was... I don't know. Lapsed Catholic or something like that. Neither one of them were, like, actively practicing any sort of religion, but Christmas was a big deal to my dad for some reason, so we always celebrated it. We celebrated Hanukkah, too, 'cause my mom liked the traditions. I didn't really know that celebrating both was weird until I was like 10. I guess a lot of things about my family were weird, though."

Hux listened quietly, the warmth and his full belly making him feel slow and sleepy, and it was a while before he spoke. "My mother was Catholic. Practicing Catholic. I went to Mass with her every Sunday until I started College. I never really believed myself, but I went through the motions because it made her happy. I felt like I owed her that much, at least, after everything she did for me. And because she was so completely un-phased when I came out to her. I know some of my peers with religious parents weren't so lucky. The first boy I kissed got shipped off to some sort of conversion camp when his parents found out he liked boys, and I never saw him again." Hux's eyes blurred with unshed tears and he had to stop talking then, so as not to risk Ren hearing any unsteadiness in his voice. He had the urge to press his face against Ren's shoulder, but he resisted because seeking comfort from Ren still didn't seem like a good idea. He remembered how afraid he'd been to tell his mother he was gay, and how relieved and loved her response had made him feel. She'd always supported him without hesitation, and going to church seemed like such a small thing to make her happy. God, he missed her.

He felt Ren's arm move against his side, a quiet sound of crumpling paper and a dull snap, then something bumped the back of his hand. When he looked down, Ren had a bar of chocolate in his hands. One of the bars Hux found the day he'd-... when those men had tried to kill Ren. He remembered when he found the chocolate, the petty side of him considered leaving it behind just because he knew Ren would want it. He couldn't, though. Not when he knew how pleased Ren would be to have it. Now Ren had one of his three precious bars of chocolate in his hand, the first piece broken off and offered to Hux.

Hux didn't even like chocolate. He never had. But there was something significant in this simple act of generosity that he couldn't refuse. He took the offered chocolate and popped it in his mouth, letting it melt on his tongue. It didn't taste better than any other chocolate he'd eaten in his life, but something about the value Ren assigned to it made it more palatable. Ren broke off a second piece for himself before folding the wrapper closed again.

Wine would have been nice. For the first time he found himself regretting not taking the wine when they'd ransacked Ren's parents' house for supplies. There was a bottle of brandy, but Hux had a hard time justifying wasting supplies so indulgently. On the other hand, there was no telling how much longer they might still be alive. They might be murdered by other survivors any day, or they could be overrun with the undead on their next supply run. Then all their supplies would be wasted, or scavenged by the very people who may have murdered them. That thought made the decision for him.

Ren watched him curiously as he stood and went back inside, only to reemerge with the bottle of brandy in-hand. Hux didn't know much about alcohol quality, but he would guess this was probably, at one point, a very expensive bottle. He sat down next to Ren again and opened the bottle, the warm scent of wood and spice greeting him as he passed it to Ren, who took it gratefully and turned it up to take a swig. This time he didn't cough or sputter the way he had that first day, when they'd done this with a bottle of whiskey. When Hux took a drink himself, he understood why. Unlike the harsh burn of the whiskey, this was smooth and almost sweet, the alcohol more of a pleasant warmth running from his throat and settling in his stomach rather than a choking burn at the back of his throat.

Hux put the stopper back in the bottle and set it aside, feeling warm and just a bit lightheaded after only one drink. That brandy was strong. When he glanced over at Ren again he was surprised to find those dark eyes fixed on him, glinting in the firelight as Ren regarded him with that expression again. That soft one he couldn't describe. When Ren leaned in, Hux closed his eyes in surrender just before their lips met. Ren's mouth tasted mostly of brandy, but there was still a hint of chocolate on his tongue. Hux decided he liked the flavor better this way.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a little late to the Holiday party, but the mood struck me to write this. I hope at least a couple people find it enjoyable.
> 
> I posted it as a separate work from Odds of Survival because it doesn't really do anything to move the plot along with what I have going. I may post other interludes like this in the future, just so I'll have a way to include additional information and scenes that I can't really fit in the main story.
> 
> Hope you all made the most of your holidays.


End file.
